Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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