I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
