have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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