i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
