I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
