White coat. Heels.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
