It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
