I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
