is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
