I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
