Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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