walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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