they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
