i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
