I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my phone needs a breathalizer
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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