I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
