it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
