fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
