Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
