And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
