Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
