I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
