Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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