Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
