So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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