A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
two words...techno handjob
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Randomize
