its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
