I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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