It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
