dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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