there's paper in my vomit.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
