me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Your penis caused this!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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