we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
