I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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