I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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