I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Randomize
