david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
