I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
