Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
