I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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