Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
