so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
