I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You left your phone here
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