I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
