at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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