im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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