i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
