flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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