You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
