So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
